Head that wears the crown

 

It’s funny how, over the years, I’ve moved through a handful of bosses probably five or six by now and, if I’m being honest, I never really liked any of them. I mean, who does, right? But recently, the disdain I’ve held for them has slowly shifted to something more like pity. Maybe it’s just a natural shift that happens as you gain experience, or maybe it’s the result of certain events. Either way, it’s been on my mind lately.

For as long as I can remember, the go-to office pastime has always been “bashing the boss.” You know, that whole ritual of gossiping about their quirks, criticizing their decisions, or poking fun at their management style. And in a way, it’s a bonding activity for colleagues a way to release stress and feel like we’re all in the same boat. But recently, an old Gujarati saying has been sticking with me:

“પીપળ પાન ખરતાં હસતી કુંપળીયાં, મુજ વીતી તુ જ વીતશે, ધીરી બાપુડીયાં…”
(Translation: As the old leaves of the peepal tree fall, the younger ones laugh. What I’ve been through, you will go through too, in time.)

That saying has never felt truer. Because, as much as we joke and vent about our bosses, the reality is that as we grow in our careers, we also take on more responsibility not just for our own work, but for guiding the next generation, shaping their understanding of the job, and modelling behaviour.

Looking back on those bosses I once disliked, I realize they’ve become an unexpected source of inspiration. I had this one experience recently that completely shifted my perspective. I spent a day with my boss, and that one interaction gave me a whole new understanding of what it means to be in their shoes. While we were busy complaining over lunch about the boss’s tone or their demand to submit a proposal quickly, I realized that they’d been bearing the brunt of these same complaints all day long. We get to be entertained by the gossip and venting sessions, but they are likely spending hours convincing their superiors about our capabilities and fighting for our jobs.

And all those times we’ve grumbled about a cancelled leave or how strict they’ve been? Maybe their own family hasn’t seen them in days, either. Perhaps they’re home explaining to their kids why they missed their birthday or a school function all while trying to juggle the stress at work. It’s easy to forget, but they’re human too, dealing with pressures we may never even see.

The saying “Heavy is the head that wears the crown” makes so much more sense now. I get it. The responsibilities of leadership are not easy, and we don’t always see the battles they fight behind the scenes both at work and at home.

So maybe it’s time we reconsider how we view our bosses not as rulers with golden crowns holding goblets of power, but with crowns, with blood of deadlines and pending proposals flowing through their heads. Sure, they have the perks of being the boss like the privilege of making everyone else feel bad for missing a meeting, the honour of not answering our calls, or making us stay late night after night. But even the ones who seem too harsh, too demanding, or too detached? Behind that confident, sometimes angry exterior, there’s a storm of challenges they’re weathering daily trying to remember why they’re even in charge in the first place.

"This post is a part of ‘Real and Rhythm Blog Hop’ hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed under #EveryConversationMatters blog hop series