In search of the "real" Calling

 Something I Once Gave Up But Keep Returning To

I was fortunate to be surrounded by people with extraordinary talent. Almost everyone in my friend circle was deeply engaged in something — there were painters, dancers, football players, chess enthusiasts — all pursuing their interests alongside academics.

Looking back, I realize how much the company I kept shaped who I am today. But at the time, I often felt intimidated. Everyone around me seemed to know exactly what they cared about, what they wanted to master. And there I was, wondering what my own thing was.

While they were out there honing their skills, I was usually at home, reading for hours and delighting in discovering two new words a day — collecting words was my quiet obsession. Or I’d be on my computer, completely absorbed in Age of Empires. Even now, I still crave the thrill of that game; it never really left me.

Over the years, I kept putting my books aside in search of a “real” calling. I joined music classes, drawing lessons, karate, even makeup workshops (facepalm). But each attempt lasted only a few days before it began to feel like a task, and eventually, I’d stop.

How naïve I was not to realize that I had already found what I was looking for. A calling doesn’t always announce itself loudly — sometimes it’s woven quietly into your daily joys. For me, that has always been reading and gaming: two pursuits I once abandoned in the search for something else, only to keep returning to again and again.

 This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon.